My Half Marathon Pace Group Leader Joke Collection

I've had the privilege of being a half marathon pace group leader for over 30 half marathons.  It's been a joy to lead groups to their finish time and encourage and support athletes along the way.  For me, a big part of being a pace group leader was keeping people entertained, engaged, or distracted from the distance left to go.  

Over the years I developed a personal "joke script" of jokes that I could tell at road races.  These jokes are pretty general, suitable for most audiences, and are generally "safe for the workplace."

Here are my pace group leader jokes by category: 

Star Wars Jokes

Disney Jokes

Cross The Road Jokes

Sports Jokes

Bad Jokes and Groaners

Medical, Doctor, Dentist, Nurse Jokes

Longer Story Jokes

Walks Into a Bar Jokes

One Liners/Witty Humor Jokes


These jokes are considered "public domain," meaning there are no known copyrights or issues of using someone else's work without their permission.  I hope they can bring you some laughter during these strange times.

Pacer Jokes: Disney Jokes

Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?  Because she'll let it go!

Why was Cinderella so lousy at baseball? She ran away from the ball and had a pumpkin for a coach.
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?  Same middle name.
Did you hear about the morale problem at the Magic Kingdom? Six out of seven Dwarfs are not Happy.
Why shouldn’t you fly with Peter Pan? Because you’ll Neverland.

If you get a slice of pie in Aruba, it’s $5.00 a slice. If you get a slice of pie in Jamaica, it’s $3.00 a slice. And if you get a slice of pie in the Bahamas, it’s $4.00 a slice. Those are the Pie-Rates of the Caribbean. 
A man goes to a psychiatrist.  He says, “Doctor, you have to help me. Sometimes I think I’m Mickey Mouse. Other times I think I’m Donald Duck.  Sometimes I think I’m Pluto.” The psychiatrist replies, “Hmm.  And how long have you had these Disney spells?”


Pacer Jokes: Star Wars Jokes

What do you call a potato that has turned to the Dark side? Vader Tots.  

Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Mall. 

Darth Vader: “Luke Skywalker- I know what you’re getting for Christmas.” Luke: “What? How?” Darth: “I felt your presents.” 

Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was. 

Why did the angry Jedi cross the road? To get to the Dark Side. 

Why was Luke Skywalker single for so long? He was looking for love in Alderaan places. 

What is Darth Vader’s favorite Disney song? "When You Wish Upon A Death Star.”

There was a party to celebrate Yoda’s birthday. All the guests were there: Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Princess Leia, Chewbacca and all the rest. When the cake was cut and served, Luke Skywalker asked Yoda, "Master Yoda, how am I to eat this piece of cake?” Yoda replied, "Use the forks, Luke, use the forks." 

How do Ewoks communicate over long distances? With Ewokie Talkies.  

What do you call five Siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob. 

What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be.

Which Star Wars character uses meat for a weapon instead of a Lightsaber? Obi Wan Baloney. 

What do you call the website that divulges the secrets of the Galactic Empire? Wookieeleaks.

What do Gungans put things in? Jar Jars.

Which Star Wars character works at a restaurant?  Darth Waiter.

What do you call a bounty hunter from the South? Bubba Fett. 

What do Star Destroyers wear to parties? A bow TIE. 

Why is Han a loner? Because he's solo. 

Why should you never tell jokes on the Millennium Falcon?   The ship might crack up.

What do Jedis use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi. 

What do you call a Mexican Jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi.

What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2.